Escape

Why is it that when faced with trials of many kinds we are so compelled to flee...to escape?
Why do we seek rescue instead of His presence?
Why do we hope for the relief of heaven and not His kingdom in the here and now?
Is it just human nature?
When singing "You Hold Me Now" recently, I was struck by the concept that our hope is in heaven and the relief found there instead of our hope in God being our Great God in our here and now.
This is what I heard from the Lord:
Stop running. Stop turning away from me, looking for pleasure or relief apart from me. Stop trying to hide away and escape into a fantasy world. Stop thinking of me as a guardian angel, just here to keep you from harm or pain. Stop running from me and run to me instead. Be fully present in your here, I have placed you in your now for a specific purpose and desire to be worshiped as the I AM.

So I have decided to sing "In Christ Alone" instead (click links to listen).
I pray you will be overwhelmed by the power and love of God's constant presence in your now, no matter the circumstances.

Fear & Faith

Fear and panic cannot coexist with faith.
Choose FAITH!

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind

2 Timothy 1:7

Chaos

There is a certain beauty in chaos.

To step back from it and just watch it spin.

To watch God hold all things together…there is peace here.

There is order here, even here in the chaos.

Instincts scream FEAR this lack of control.

But even chaos is not out of control,

Not out of God’s control.

Rest in the beauty of your chaos, trusting in the God who holds all things together and works together all things for good.

He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

The Rest of the Story...The Beautiful Truth Part II

Last time I wrote about when God told me I am beautiful. Today I would like to tell the rest of the story.

The beginning of May I visited a friend who was having a jewelry party to support missions to the Philippines. There was a table filled with beautiful jewels of different colors and sizes. Mother’s day was approaching so I tried to find something for my mom or mother-in-law but couldn’t find anything in my price range I thought they would like. So I decided on a simple ring for myself. I immediately began to feel guilty for spending money selfishly. I even tried the “it was for a good cause” justification but it wasn’t working…we had gifts we needed to buy with that money.

A few days later, as I continued to beat myself up, God spoke to my heart. “This is my gift to you,” He said. “Look, it’s a pearl, it will be a reminder to you that I am making something beautiful.” He asked me “How is a pearl made?” And I began to see…A pearl, a beautiful, precious jewel is made in the goo and grime of an oyster tossed around in the waves of the ocean. Out of the storm, the slime and grit, God makes something beautiful. This is what God was telling me about my life. There are storms and messes but He works together ALL THINGS for good for those who love him and are called according to his purpose Romans 8:28. He makes the mess beautiful. This reminds me of Jonah…I have a Jonah story, but that’s for another time. So this beautiful ring has been a reminder of God’s work, a call to trust Him that He is making a beautiful life out of my mess.

Recently, I decided to search online God’s original question to me, “How is a pearl made?” This is what I found:

The formation of a natural pearl begins when a foreign substance slips into the oyster between the mantle (a fleshy layer of tissue folded into three distinct layers) and the shell, which irritate­s the mantle. It's kind of like the oyster getting a splinter. The oyster's natural reaction is to cover up that irritant to protect itself. The man­tle covers the irritant with layers of the same nacre substance that is used to create the shell. This eventually forms a pearl. 

The cultured pearl forms because someone inserts both a piece of mantle from a sacrifice oyster (so named because this oyster is allowed to die after the tissue samples are taken) and a nucleus (which is most often a mother-of-pearl bead) are inserted into the oyster.

Regardless of the method used to acquire a pearl, the process usually takes several years. Oysters must reach a mature age, which can take up to 3 years, and then be implanted or naturally receive an irritant. Once the irritant is in place, it can take up to another 3 years for the pearl to reach its full size. Often, the irritant may be rejected, the pearl will be terrifically misshapen, or the oyster may simply die from disease or countless other complications. By the end of a 5 to 10 year cycle, only 50% of the oysters will have survived, many will produce nothing or die. And of the pearls produced, only approximately 5% are of substantial quality for top jewelry makers.

Wow! There is a lot God is telling me here. I will leave most of that between me and God and let Him speak to you what He wants. Overall, I hear Him saying to me that He desires to create in me a top quality jewel of great beauty but I have a choice. I can reject the “irritant” of my sacrificial Lord in my life and in turn be misshapen or actually kill the person He made me to be. Or I can yield and humbly accept His work, His life, into mine and allow Him to make something beautiful. By the power of the Holy Spirit I pray I continually choose to allow Him to have His way in me. (Listen to this)

 Here's hope...even if we've rejected Him and we are all battered and misshapen, when we yield to the Master Jeweler, wherever we are on the journey, He can make something beautiful. And he who was seated on the throne said, "Behold, I make all things new." Revelation 21:5

The Beautiful Truth

My sweet husband informed me he didn’t like the title of this blog, ”because” he said “you’re already beautiful.” (good man) I know I am beautiful.  Not because I feel beautiful or because my husband tells me all the time but because God says I am. And I am who He says I am (thank you Beth Moore). I believe I am both currently beautiful and being made beautiful.  I haven’t always believed this but two years ago God spoke to my heart and there was no arguing. Here’s the story… 

I was at church, we were singing the song “You Are Beautiful MySweet, Sweet Song”.  I was praising God and began to pray, “You are beautiful Lord and everything you touch is beautiful.” Pictures started flashing through my mind of breathtaking landscapes and animals. “You are Beautiful Creator, all you have made is beautiful, the mountains, the ocean, the animals…” Then I hear him whisper “and you, I have made you and you are beautiful.” I stood there in awe. It was like He spoke directly to my heart, like it was fact, and instantly I knew it was true.  I still didn’t feel beautiful but somehow I knew I was. A few weeks later I started attending a bible study called “Do YouThink I’m Beautiful” by Angela Thomas. When the leader asked me if I felt that I was loved by God and seen as beautiful I said yes. I went on to explain however that I felt the only thing lovable or beautiful about me was Jesus in me and that I was really like filthy rags. She gently reminded me that He says it is my righteousness that is like filthy rags (Isaiah64:6), not me and even those who don’t know Christ as Savior are still loved by God, still seen as beautiful. I learned then and continue to believe that we are deeply loved by God and seen as beautiful for no other reason than He made us. I am loved by God not for what I do, how clever I am or how good, not for how I look but because He made me and I belong to Him. This is a truth that I have said many times but now I am finally knowing and believing.

Attitude

I teach an AMAZING group of 11^th grade girls at our church. One of my favorite lessons this year was on the importance of having an Attitude of Gratitude…that’s right, I said it, with finger snaps and everything.  I am aware of how not cool I am but we are still laughing about it so I guess it worked. It’s cheesy but it’s TRUE. I believe an attitude of gratitude leads to a heart of worship. That is what I desire more than anything, for my heart to be turned toward Him, Jesus The One and Only in complete adoration. It’s what I desire for you too.

Psalm 100

 ¹ Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
 ² Worship the LORD with gladness;
   come before him with joyful songs.
³ Know that the LORD is God.
   It is he who made us, and we are his;
   we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

 ⁴ Enter his gates with thanksgiving

   and his courts with praise;

   give thanks to him and praise his name.

⁵ For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; 

 his faithfulness continues through all generations. 

 Sometimes I just need to practice what I preach! I started my gratitude list a few weeks ago (inspired by Ann Voskamp).  Here are my recent additions…

61. Precious time with heart sisters

62. Thai Peppers Mango Curry

63. Husband's homecoming

64. Young lives forever changed, forever saved

65. Loud celebrations of freedom

66. Waving baby

67. Beach days

68. Playing pirates with my favorite 4 yr old

69. Peace from obedience

70. Wise, servant husband loving like Jesus

Just Eatin Bon-Bons

For Christmas, a dear friend gave me a tiny bucket filled with scripture. Sometimes when I have children at my ankles (and my neck, my hair…) all day this is just what I need. Tiny morsels of the Word that fill and satisfy like a full meal.  Like spiritual bon-bons for this stay-at-home mama. This bucket is on a dust covered shelf next to the rocker, sandwiched between a “snot sucker” as we call it, hand sanitizer (for after diaper changes) and a pile of journals filled with good intentions.  Honestly, as I look at it, the shelf annoys me. I say to myself, “How hard is it to dust this shelf…we haven’t used the snot-sucker in like three months why haven’t I put it away…the hand sanitizer would be better suited next to the changing table four rooms away.” Thankfully…I close my eyes to this desire for my definition of perfection and grab the bucket and dig in. I thank God for this perspective, to know that His Word tastes just as sweet with a little dust circling in the air. I may only have a few moments of quiet, I have to take advantage of this. There will be a time for cleaning my shelf…may it never come before I feast on the Word. Today these bites filled me with hope and strength. He is my delight!

Your words sustain me. They bring me great joy and are my heart’s delight. Jeremiah 15:16

When I said, “My foot is slipping” your love oh Lord supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. Psalm 94:18-19

Yet, I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

I love the “Yet” it’s what I cling to today. My house is a mess YET…Bills pile up YET…Relationships struggle and people disappoint YET…Circumstances seem impossible, hopeless YET… The journey is hard and painful YET…I WILL REJOICE IN THE LORD, I WILL BE JOYFUL IN GOD MY SAVIOR.

This is beautiful. No matter the circumstance, trial or struggle God is worthy of praise and delight…rejoicing…joy is found in Him. It makes me sing Desert Song

I praise You and thank You God that You are taking my idea of the “right” way to seek You and meeting me HERE in this place. In this season, my time with you will not look like it has in the past but You are still present, still pursuing relationship and still pouring out love. Somehow, You make what seems like a mess, a beautiful song.

So from now on, if someone asks me if all I do is sit around and eat bon-bons all day, I will say YES!